This is not the ideal way to spend the holidays. I was supposed to be on vacation with my family, sailing to the Bahamas, relaxing in the sun and playing in the warm blue water.
Instead I spent the week of Christmas going to multiple doctors appointments, a PET scan on Christmas Eve, a bone marrow biopsy the day after Christmas, and my first immunotherapy treatment that Friday. This first treatment actually made me feel better. This was followed up with a new set of medications to be taken at home.
The tumor in my chest is very large and directly behind my sternum. It was 12cm x 10cm x 6cm at the PET scan. No wonder I have been short of breath.
My doctor wanted to schedule appointments for the week of New Years too. I negotiated to have an entire week without any appointments. I found out later that she would have preferred to start my chemo before Christmas.
For my week off I went sailing. It was a day sail, 4 hours away from the dock, wind in the sails, waves rolling the boat. It was glorious.
We had a relaxing New Years Eve and New Years Day. Just spending time with my kids, helping them get ready for the Spring semester. We drove the boys back to school on Sunday.
Next week will be back to busy. I am getting the PICC line inserted, a second immunotherapy treatment, and I am getting my hair cut. I am starting to make peace with losing my hair, but I suspect this will be emotional.
I have been doing lots of thinking and planning. How will we keep things taken care of? What about food? Laundry? Keeping the boat clean? I am pretty sure I have these covered. The grocery store will deliver and I can have fully prepared meals delivered as well. We already use a service for laundry. And I can hire a service to clean the boat inside and out.
I have also been thinking and planning for my mental and physical health. I know the next 6 months are going to be rough. I also know I can work on making myself stronger as I go through treatment. I am going to use the Wim Hof breathing method daily as a meditation and to help keep my heart rate lower. I am going to do a 30 minute yoga practice every day that I am able. I am going to study Spanish, read, and work as much as I can.
It is going to be an intense 6 months. A lot is going to happen fast and the time between will likely be filled with boredom. I know I am going to have good days and bad days, good hours and bad hours. And I know I will come through this, likely stronger and probably sassier than ever (you have been warned). I am surrounded by much love and more support that I could ever have imagined and this helps more than anyone will ever really know.